the age of instant access

The nature of human living comfortably dictates that our shopping list of things to complain about will never find its end, like a receipt after a never-ending grocery run. I believe I compared 2016 to a baby at rest, gentle reverberations and inconsequential hiccups so gentle they could be negligible. That could've been read as tranquility, but I had chosen the glass is half-empty way of looking at it. That has always been my complex, I call it character.(now my glass is half-full.)

On the point of complaining too much, my wayward laments must have been mistaken for earnest prayers and I was thrown into a tailspin of changes and crises on by the time new year happened. Maybe the higher heavens are on the internet reading blogs too.

21sts have always been the beacon of freedom for many and you're only socially cool if your celebration involved metallic '21' balloons and a fancy ombre cake. But if that's the standard, I'm un-cool, but I'm more passed the phase of trying to be. For awhile I evaded the 'why don't you celebrate your birthday' question with simply not being a birthday person but silently wish someone is planning a giant surprise. After 20 though, my outlook on birthdays wasn't as gloomy, a birthday should be a reflection of the year you had, and a celebration was only warranted if you feel like you've achieved something, however monumental that win had been.

2017 has got off on a pretty rough start, but several tragedies have died like every wave on the beach that had tried to make it to shore. In the thick of things I felt cornered and breathless, the ultimate lessons learnt while picking the pieces in hindsight made me realise not every loss is a dig at your possessions.

Inspired by my former editor's listicle(hi Joyce!) to her younger self, here're 21 lessons and reminders for my future self to come back to when shit happens. Neon circa 2019, you better kick yourself for being so stressed when you look back at this entry.

*To the reader, I hope some of my muses helps you out too.

1. At 21, love really, really, really isn't the be all and end all to life and relationships are like dessert, treat it as the main course and you'll get sick.

Spend the bulk of your 20s focused on making something out of yourself, making memories with great friends(they're gonna stick around for much longer than shitty men) and family. If you need to, reward yourself with legal vices, since your loser ass still hates alcohol.

2. Bad as the disasters are, you'll come to realise how lucky you are with the people in your life thanks to it.

And you'll be pleasantly shocked at how large that number is, and how willing they are to rally behind you. At one point, they will be the anchor that saves you from drowning in depression.

3. Friendships require effort to cultivate, don't neglect those who had nursed you when you're broken beyond words.

4. Army isn't as daunting as it seems.

You'll hate it at first. But you'll eventually join a team where you get to do what you're impassioned by and meet very kind people who you'll learn how to get along with other males. You'll actually count your blessings on the daily, and understand that everyone leads an as, if not more complicated life than you.

5. All ruts are designed to be stepped out of, despite what detractors may say.

You'll have many more intense moments of frustrations. Don't be too hard on yourself with criticisms. You're not the only one who gets fucked over, and you won't be remotely the last.

6. Write at least once a week.

Your brain may not be what it used to be, but recall the video you watched on the science of averages. The more bad shit you write, the higher the chance you'll come up with something genius.

7. Favourite songs come and go. Don't get triggered when someone steals the meaning of it away from you.

Everything will make sense when Lust for Life is released.

8. It's okay to get triggered by unimportant things in life. People will get a good laugh over it, and it'll sans you a giant explosion from pent-up frustrations.

9. Not everything will go your way and you'll come out on the shorter end of the bargain more often than getting what you want.

You may end up on the shorter end of the stick, but if you're not left empty-handed, your glass is half full.

10. Know that transient pleasures are to be what it is, ephemeral.

11. As much as you want a 21-point list, 13 is all you can come up with.

12. You can't please everyone.

Be less sycophantic, people are gonna hate you if they decide they don't like your face. Don't feel the need to seek validation from everyone.

13. It's ok if you often lean towards the #unpopularopinion

As much as there's no judgement for having some of the hairiest legs on the face of this earth, you'll still feel much more at ease without it.