8 Life-Unchanging Thoughts in December So Far

Sorry reader, no life-changing epiphanies here. You have been warned.

1. "Society Make Your Choice. Should I Have My Eye On The Prize or Enjoy The Journey Not Just The destination?

Recently I found this website called Man Repeller and it has been my literary salve and bible ever since. And lately, it has become the only thing I looked forward too. Welcome to my sad life. But upon reading THIS ridiculously accurate article on popular advices that are just brimmed with contradictions, I recalled a convo me and Faiz had about this schoolmate who went for a 8-month degree program and the paper chase.

So do I go through with the motions of learning absolutely nothing for 8 months and be forced to become a law-abiding taxpayer but working nonetheless or spend 4 years studying, and in the midst try not to be complacent and do something outside of school.

2. Writing Paralysis and The Inevitable Questioning of my Career Choices

Writing paralysis is basically the cancer of writing and as it is a singer having a sore throat. I was working on a Christmas article for a client last week and I legit had a panic attack when no words or ideas came to mind when I opened the Google Docs.

And right in that moment my whole life flashed before my eyes. Oh lord, had all these years of dreaming meant nothing? Can I actually not write? Ok, the next point better not start with 'Let's be real' and for god's sake, I know it's a Christmas article but the word has appeared so many times even I see why the Grinch became who he was. Of course, I was insanely frustrated.

The next few hours was typing what I thought would be a beautiful line, brain stops thinking mid-sentence, deleting everything, look out the window in despondence. Gif that>loop forever.

3. "8-12 Articles A Day? Literally, You Are Being So Rude."

And this led to my dumbass googling how much professional writers write on the daily, to see the 'standard' today. I opened a thread from Quora asking the exact question I had in mind: how many articles do SEO writers produce today?

Clearly I was setting myself up for a mental breakdown right? This incident happened right after I spent 5 hours at Starbucks trying to write and only finished 2 points(3 short paragraphs). And mind you I was sleepy af. But against knowing better, despite all the 'DO NOT TOUCH' warnings my mind was putting up, I opened the link.

"5-7 a day" Please tell me they're tweets instead.

"Depending on how rushed I am, 8 - 12" wtf do you mean rushed? I pat myself on the back if I write half in a day.

"Say I write 500 words an hour, I can easily churn 8 articles a day" please, just go away. you're so rude right now. just no.

4. "But I Still Want To Do This?"

Yes, I Do. But can I also miraculously wake up with the talent of my favourite writers? Or at least have the writing block gone. Thanks.

5. "I Could Use a New Face"

Plastic surgery I mean. Cuz, I really would love to take a selfie or ton of photos with me in it and not actually cringe while I look at it. It is my face I'm talking about.

6. My Failing Memory

Omfg, what did I wanna search on google? *frantically typing random letters*

7. "Am I Mentally Unsound Given The Fact I Only Find Twisted Japanese Crime Thrillers Interesting?"

Please tell me the the millions of readers of Suspect X were all the same several millions who read Confessions and Evil and the Mask and The Silent Dead and all enjoyed it as much as I do and did not turn out to be murderers and crime-doers.

Because The Nakano Thrift Store is as boring as it sounds.

8. "I'm Already 20. Fuck."

I've only about 15 years to live my life and make it really big and rich... so I can live my life. But I'll be 27 when I'm out of university. Ok, which do I have better shot at: whoring myself out or crying to sleep? Oh crap, I guess I'll continue writing until I make a decision.

Ok, that will be all. Now that all these rants are out of my system, I gotta go write a 16-point article and go through the motions of #2 and #3. Prayers will be much-appreciated and needed.