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Change. I knew all along it was coming my way, everyone's way, in fact. Most times good, other times dire.

I wholeheartedly subscribed to the idea and mantra that everything happens for a reason, but unlike Ishigami or Yukawa in The Devotion of Suspect X, I couldn't find logic in your change of heart. It couldn't be you, I knew - it happened far too many times with me as the common denominator to be chance. Yet when I asked why, both of you failed to supply me a reason I could cry about. Now that I can't cry over something, I can only be blue about everything.

I wonder if it was ever science - how someone whom you first could spill your world to suddenly become so universally distant. How daily sweet nothings suddenly become awkward politically correct responses, one that you feel so cornered you can only virtually laugh-hahaha-your way out. Of course, you find yourself at the same exact spot when you attempt to shift gears to another topic. And so the cycle of insanity begins.

Once I ran across the room when I hear my phone ring, instinctively knowing it was you with your many messages at once kink. I would hate sleep and goodnights, along any other farewells that would disconnect us. You would share the same sentiments. Fast forward, a list of duties, errands, responsibility-replying everyone else, watch a show/movie/advertisement, take a shower scratch an itch, nap-must be completed before we even tend to the message. Each buzz on the phone is dread, with the burden of a message we now have to kill our braincells thinking how to reply.

Be it a gradual or a spontaneous realisation, I can only curiously wonder in daze what it was like, that one moment in time the universe clicked - and the intensity once held simply simmered into nothingness. How I-can-never-hear-enough-"I love you"s unexpectedly become excruciating "Who are you"s.

I guess that's the dire change that happens sometimes. Maybe this pain is necessary, to remind me it's life I'm living after all. Backwards or forwards, hey, at least I'm moving.